10-19-2009

What a robust day of experiencing.  It feels that every single area of my life experience shifted today.  I have mused on this and wish to share it with all of you, keep what feels good and leave the rest.

Things that I experienced today:

Getting my vehicle fixed, making myself at home in the office during the process and holding my vibration when I realized that this endeavor was actually a three part experience, not a two and it would also cost a third more.  I decided to allow more abundance and accept coming back for two more “office catch up” time blocks.  This felt amazing and everything I did on my laptop catching up on correspondence and administrative tasks flowed amazingly well.

Learning how to lovingly and truthfully communicate with a business partner, expressing what my desire for the roles and responsibilities of our alliance could be and seeing if it truly feels goo d for the other to meet me there.

Receiving a response from my dad, my reaction to seeing his letter on the counter was fear.  When I read it, I knew why.  It is true that I had released 80% of my need for his approval and my attachment to the outcome of the letter I sent him, which meant that I still had 20% that responded to his letter to me.  It spoke of the differences in our belief systems and his desire for me to consider his point of view.  I was happy that my response was, okay he might not ever really get me, but he loves me, prays for me and wants the best for me.  Isn’t that enough?

Committing myself to experience being in total partnership with the physical vessel that is my body.  To completely embrace that every part of it has its own voice, wants and needs and to work together with me, the energy that animates this body, as a true team.   I learned that for me when I am sparring with anyone in my  life, even myself, I needed armor and that this is the key to why I put on weight.  Why I have made the choices that I have made. I know choose to allow all of me to experience life to the fullest.  To treat all of the parts of myself with the same unconditional love and respect that I give to every other being in my life.  To listen and attend to all of the physical needs of my body with love and devotion. 

Taking my beloved, Frank, to the vet to see why he has stopped using his back left leg.  Turns out he has bad arthritis in his right hip and left knee.  There are other potentials that were discussed; I choose to believe this potential and to support him in finding his new balance point within that.  I will be focusing on his tissue’s releasing inflammation and coming into well-being. On my releasing any limiting beliefs I might have about him, letting go of the old thoughts and beliefs that have triggered me emotionally.   I am focuses on his body knowing how to take care of itself, knowing that there is only one stream well-being, it is just a matter of whether you are in it or not.  I know he is choosing to jump in again and swim out to meet me.  As in this stream is where we both choose to live.

Speaking to a dear friend, learning the troubling details of the past year of their life.  Learning that they have struggled for a lifetime and that I never knew.  That they had indeed hit rock bottom and they too are now on the banks of the river of well-being, dipping in their toes, committed to jumping in and being swept along in grace.

Feeling the amazing love and wisdom radiating from my life partner.  Knowing in every cell in my body that there is someone who loves me, someone who never wants me to hold back anything for the sake of sparing them, someone who truly wants to meet me in the all that I am and experience it with me.  Someone whom I am connected to in the same way, desiring to share his story.  Knowing that at the end of the day, together you can share all that you learned, pondered and worked through and hear back amazing things about yourself that you never thought of.  Things that you can hear easily because they are shared gently and with tremendous unconditional love from a being whom you know only wants joy for you.

Love & Light,

Kristine

        

“Why do you always have to ask why?” was one of my mother’s favorite questions when I was growing up.  “Because I have to know”, was my favorite response.  “Because I said so”, was her usual answer.  Now I know why I needed to know the reason for why things were the way they were, why authority figures said I couldn’t do things, why peers treated me certain ways, and why at times the world seemed like a mean and cruel place.  It was this need to know “why” that has caused me to search for the answer to my consciousness’s biggest question, “Why are we here”?

I have done a lot of pondering, reading, exploring, and meditating on that topic and really believe that we are here for the experience of being here, the sheer joy of it and to expand all that is into even more.  Sometimes the answer is so simple, it seems implausible.  Now I can hear many of you saying, I wouldn’t choose this experience, na huh, no way, no how.  Really, you did and let me explain why.

How much have you learned and grown from times in your life of success, from the times of ease and plenty?  Not very much, but in contrast, how much have you learned from your times of lack, sorrow and failure?  These are the times that really stretch us as beings and cause us to move out of our comfort zones to find new solutions and pathways in our lives.  If we didn’t have challenging times, we would stay stuck in the same place, which is not what we intended when we chose to come into this life.  We chose to come here to have new experiences that would cause our consciousness to grow and expand.  As we are all connected, when we expand all that is expands too. 

Yes, I said it “chose to come here”, you are here of your free-will and wanting.  In fact, here is the place to be in the Universe.  The Earth is the only place where beings of all levels of evolvement can interact with one another and play out different scenarios in order to learn and grow.  The Earth is the only place that allows complete free-will.  There is strict rule of non-interference from other beings in the Universe, we are to be allowed to play out our dramas as we see fit.  This creates an environment where we can choose to play a good guy or a bad guy, whatever is needed for our consciousness to fully grasp something it is trying to learn in order to grow.
 
You may be thinking that this is not fair.   Why would such a thing be allowed, surely this type of scenario would be the cause of great pain and suffering?  Yes, it is and that great pain and suffering is what is wanted by the eternal consciousness of the individual having the experience.  They chose to have this experience and know that is very temporary.  So temporary that as soon as they decide they no longer desire that experience, they can create a new one.  So powerful are we as eternal consciousness that we can step off of the path that we are on and onto a new path at any time.
 
Imagine with me for a moment, that you are a person that has been trapped in a very dark room for a long time.  It has been so long since you have been able to see yourself or the world around you that you have grown afraid and have decided that darkness is all there is.  Imagine now, that someone enters your room and they are carrying a glowing candle, now all of a sudden you can see a little better.  The room doesn’t seem quite as scary as before.  Now imagine ten more people entering the room, each with a candle.  Now you can see much better and start to believe that maybe there is more than darkness, maybe, just maybe the light has just been absent in your room.  This is what we are to each other, lights in the darkness.  We are helping each other to see ourselves better and to remember that at our core, we are all light. 

My dear friends, light is love.  Love is light.  Love is the key to bringing more of your light into your physical body.  Real love, unconditional love, love that says everyone is my family and all is appropriate.  Most of all being able to look in the mirror and feel that kind of love for yourself.  Every soul is having the exact experience that is perfect for the expansion of their consciousness.  Because of this thing called free will, everyone is allowed to have those experiences no matter how painful or horrific they may seem to us, no matter lost in darkness they may be.  It is only when they ask for help, that they are ready to let go of those dramas and move into a lighter existence.  Interfering without being asked is robbing them of their opportunity to learn and grow. 

You may say, but I cannot sit by and watch those around me suffer and do nothing.  I completely agree, and your work is to shine your light.  To keep working on holding yourself in a place of joy, happiness and to be free from judgment, so that your light can be continually expand and be shared with others who are searching for their own light.  To allow yourself to blow out your candle and sit in the darkness with another, does not serve them or you.  This is so powerful for you to realize and accept.  In realizing this truth and integrating it, you can begin to let more of your light in and let go of the drama and darkness.  This will allow you to create new circumstances and scenarios that are to your liking and still serve your desire to grow and expand. 

The term, as you think you get, has been around for a long time.  It couldn’t be truer.  What if I were to tell you that your very thoughts create your material reality?  And further, that by changing those thoughts, you can change your reality.  You might think, no way, not me, but yes, you and all beings have this power.  Furthermore, you were born with a guidance system to tell you instantly whether the thoughts you are having are moving you toward or away from what you want, your emotions.  Quite simply negative emotions, all of them, indicate that your current thoughts are moving you away from what you desire.  Positive emotions indicate that your current thoughts are moving you towards what you want.

A big part of the great “why” of us being here, is to reawaken to the realization that we are all powerful creators who chose to place our eternal ever-expanding consciousness into a limited material vehicle, our physical bodies.  We wanted to experience what it felt like to be limited and separate, to experience the contrast of light and dark, good and bad in order to see how much of our true selves, our light, we could bring into this physical body.  We wanted to interact with others in scenarios designed to expand us to see how many experiences we could create and to allow ourselves to expand through those experiences.

You see when you are in your true state of pure consciousness; you are connected with all that is.  You know every other consciousness’s intentions, level of evolvement and motivations.  There is no judgment but pure acceptance that everyone is growing and expanding perfectly for themselves.  There are no hidden agendas, there is no drama, and there is no guessing.  This takes all of the mystery out of the interaction and creates a place of pure positive experience, where only unconditional love and light resides.  
Here because of the cloak our material bodies provide and the separateness they create, we have can duality.  The duality of light and dark allows for the interplay that creates drama.  It is only because of these shadows, that there is an opportunity to have that which we call negative or bad experiences.  These types of experiences have helped us to grow much fold faster than those we label as positive experiences.
 
The game of physical life was designed so well, to be so believable that most of us completely forgot who we really are.  This was the point, to be in complete forgetfulness and to try through experiences to remember who we really are.  We are at an amazing time in the evolution of our physical selves and the beautiful consciousness of the planet that we live on.  As we evolve, we are able to carry more of the light that we truly are in our physical bodies.  This is where the term, enlightenment came from.  It is also why we are here on this planet, to shine that light.  We are carrying more light within us than ever before; this light is raising the very consciousness of humanity as a whole.  This light will change the way we live together and the very game of duality on planet Earth.
 
It may be hard to imagine now, but with enough light shining on the planet, soon there will be no place left that is dark and the game of duality will end.  With it so will the dramas of suffering, pain and sorrow that we have used to evolve us to this point.  We don’t need them anymore, we have learned what was intended and it is time to let the drama’s go and replace them with love.  A world operating from pure light or unconditional love will be a grand place indeed.  I see us living in balance with our planet, each other and the Universe.  It will be a new age with new experiences to be had, full of joy, abundance and laughter.  All each of us needs to do in embrace our own light and share it with the world and this shall come to pass.  After all it this is why we came here.

        

Don’t we have enough guilt in our lives?  I know that I used to and then a wise friend of mine shared a key concept with me that changed things.  She told me that every time she found herself saying I should do this or that, if she changed that phrase to could, it created a guilt-free scenario.  We all have things that we feel like we have to get done in the course of our busy modern lives.  Many of us pile way too many things on each day’s to do list than anyone can expect to get done and then guilt ourselves for not accomplishing them all.

This is just silly.  What if you made a list of things you could do today and then decided throughout the day which ones you truly felt like doing.  Play along with me for a moment, imagine that you have had a long day at work and you are tired.  You are driving home and pondering how your evening is going to go and the to list starts streaming through.  There is laundry piling up and you say to yourself, I should do the laundry.  Now, let’s say you really don’t feel like doing the laundry, but you have told yourself that it should be done.  Well you have just set yourself up in a no-win situation.  One of two scenarios will play out, either you will make yourself do the laundry and resent it, or you will choose not to the laundry and then guilt yourself about it.  Either way the result is you feeling bad and being disconnected from the joy that is your birthright.

Now pretend with me the same scenario, except say to yourself, I could do the laundry.  Doesn’t that feel different?  It is because you are giving yourself a chance to consider whether you want to do the laundry.  Giving you some time for contemplation, to really ask yourself how you really feel about doing the laundry at that moment.  If you decide to do it anyway, great you will be doing it from a place that you have freely chosen to do it and it will be more enjoyable.  If you choose not to do it, you will not feel that pang of guilt because you haven’t pre-placed a judgment on yourself by using “should” about whether it needs to be in that timeframe.

This is a simple twist and with just a little practice it becomes second nature.  It is so freeing, you just might change how you feel about all those “have to’s” in life.  Wouldn’t that be cool if because you were doing them in the timeframe that was just perfect, all life chores could become a little more fun?  Taking that a step further, what if by following your inner guidance more, you chose to wait a day to do your grocery shopping.  And that night you happened to meet Mr. Wonderful in the check-out line, he wouldn’t have been there the night before. 

There is so much grand orchestration going on behind the scenes that we can’t see.  When you feel inspired to action, it is because everything has been lined up perfectly to answer something you have asked for.  When you push yourself to act, it is likely to be wasted effort because the timing wasn’t right and you chose to act anyway.  It really is about getting out of the “shoulds” in life and really listening to our inner being. 

Next time you hear yourself saying “I should get out there and shovel the snow”, change it to “I could get out there and shovel the snow?”  If you feel like it, go for it and savor every minute.  Choose to revel in your choice.    If you decide that that is not what you want, enjoy a guilt free cup of hot chocolate while you watch another foot of snow drop, thinking gee I’m glad I didn’t just shovel that.  While you are at it pat yourself on the back for opening up to and trusting your feelings, they will never steer you wrong.

        

How about both, they key is in finding the balance that feeds both your body and spirit.  For me, food has always been a way that I show love to others.  I take the time to find out what dishes are their favorites.  I then set about creating and serving them with such love that the food is transformed into nourishment for body and spirit.  Food, like everything else in this material Earth plane, is made up of vibrating energy and that energy picks up on and absorbs information on how it is grown, harvested and prepared. 

Think about your favorite Holiday, sitting around the tables with friends and family, the same foods that you have many times throughout the year take on a special quality.  Mashed potatoes and gravy at Christmas, taste so much better than on your average Wednesday night.  Why is this?  It is the love that is put into it.  Food prepared with love doesn’t just taste better, it is better.  It is better because the conscious intent of love put forth in making the food, changes the food itself.  It transforms the food by aligning it with the highest potential for nourishment.

Our bodies know what they need to repair cells and to revitalize the body, we have just stopped listening.  We go for the quick fix to stop the hunger or to feed an emotional need, instead of really tuning in to what our bodies are asking for.  It takes a little practice but in no time you can re-connect with your inner knowing about what your body needs.  Healthy meals do not need to be boring or bland.  With a little attention to making sure all of your senses are involved in the meal it can become extremely satisfying. 

As a fun exercise, try shopping in just the outer perimeter of the grocery store for a few weeks.  This is where the keep the whole foods like fresh vegetables, fruit, meats, dairy.  These are your basic ingredients, which I like to think of as your artist’s palate.  Spend some time in these sections and really ask your body what it wants.  You might be surprised to hear it whisper, I would love a red bell pepper or some fresh salmon. 

Don’t worry if you don’t know how to prepare these foods, a quick tour on the internet will solve that, put in your key ingredient and hundreds of recipes will pop-up.  If you find yourself at the store and wanting to make sure you have everything to make your meal tonight, head over to the magazine isle and browse through Cooking Light © or one of the other many magazine filled with healthy, nourishing meal ideas.  I assure you one will peek your interest.  I have always said, if you can read you can cook.  Many stores now have bulk spice departments, where you can get just a pinch of this or that making it very affordable to try new things.  Now that you have your food and a plan with what to make out of it, you should be set for the nourishment part of the equation. 

Now for the entertainment piece, for maximum enjoyment it is important to make sure that your meals tempt all of your five senses.  The presentation needs to look appealing, notice how in fancy restaurants great attention is given to what type of plate the food is on, how it is artfully arranged on that plate and how the use of garnishes add a further artistic touch.  Taking this concept a step further, the food has to smell good.  It is the smell of foods that starts our digestive process going and prepares our bodies to accept the nourishment.  Different textures within the same meal can provide fun crunching sounds to satisfy our sense of hearing and also satisfy our sense of touch through the way different foods feel in our mouths.  Finally the food has to taste great.  The best meals are ones with a variety of different tastes, textures and aromas. 

Taking the time to realize how food satisfies all our senses really brings your spirit into the picture.  It is your spirit that is here to experience life to it’s fullest through these five senses. Remember that loving intent + quality whole food ingredients + presentation = an experience, not just a meal.  It is amazing how a little extra time can transform an ordinary meal into amazing experience, after all that is why we are here, for the experience.  Bon appetite!

        

Here in our human physical life experience we live in a state of duality.  We have up and down, good and bad, right and wrong, dark and light.   In the non-physical realms there is no negative.  There is only light and the interplay of light.  It takes the absence of light to have duality.  Since the non-physical realm is light, there can be no darkness or negative.  What this means to you is that literally, when we say I don’t want to lose my job.  All the non-physical hears is “want to lose my job”.  Everything we ask whether it be in thought or spoken is answered immediately and set into motion.   

You see your very thoughts are creating your reality.  They are your asking to the Universe to deliver you what you want.  So it makes sense to take some time to really think about what you are giving thought to and how you are phrasing it.  There is not much danger in thinking something once, as it has very little creative power.  The challenge comes when we think of something many times and it becomes a pattern of thinking.  This becomes even more challenging if we have a lot of emotion attached to what we are thinking about.   You see your thoughts are like magnets that go out into the universe in waves of energy.  They attract thoughts to them that are similar, that match.  When the energy of a certain thought has attained enough mass or like thoughts, the thought comes into the material world as a part of your life experience.  At that point it has attracted and aligned with the other people and circumstances needed to bring about the fulfillment of your request.

Our emotions are our guidance system, letting us know whether a particular thought that we are having is taking us toward something that we want or not.  For instance, if you are concerned about “not wanting to lose your job” and you feel worry.  That is your inner being’s way of letting you know that the thought you are having is not in the direction of what you really want.  The stronger the emotional reaction that follows the thought the more energy you have built up towards manifesting this thought into your reality.

It is really worth your time to begin reframing the way you word your thoughts.  For example, instead of thinking “I don’t want to lose my job”, you could stop yourself and rephrase that thought to “I want to keep my job.”  To make this even more powerful, you can add positive emotion to your thought.   When you take the time to really get into a feeling place about what it is about your job that makes you want to keep it, you will increase the strength of that magnetic wave of energy you are emitting that will bring about the result you desire.  For instance if you can truly feel gratitude for the income and what it provides for your family or can feel love for your co-workers or clients, that charges that thought of wanting to keep your job with more energy. 

Next time you find yourself phrasing something with a “don’t want”, stop take a deep breath and find a way to phrase it in a positive way.  You are looking for a way to ask for what you want, instead of what you don’t.  Try this for a month and you will be amazed at the changes it makes in your life.  Remember that you are the creator of your experience; all you need is to be reminded of the rules of the game.

        

I readily admit that I used to be as addicted to drama as many people are.  It was what made life exciting.   I mean if everything went smoothly and everyone got along, what fun would that be?  Where is the rush?  If I needed a little hit of drama, there was always some catastrophe or another, whether real or created to fill the bill.  These little dramas run the gambit from needing a flat tire rescue to burning the dinner rolls to taking it personally when overhearing someone gossiping about me.  When things go wrong, our emotions tend to become very intense and they usually don’t feel very good.

This is why oftentimes we surround ourselves with other people’s drama.  It is better than our own, because unlike our drama, other people’s drama feels much better than our own.  Oh how the hero in us jumps us and says, “oh yeah”, “I get to save the day”, “I am needed”.  The ego loves saving the day.  When that phone rings and there is a friend in crisis on the other line, we usually immediately jump in to help them fix it.  Most times we go right the emotional place they are with them and feel it along with them.  Since it isn’t personally happening to us, we don’t feel quite as attached to the outcome, but the emotional response is very strong none the less.   

There is a biochemical reason for this.   Every emotion we have is created in our brain by chemical signatures called neuropeptides.  There are literally little tiny molecules created in the hypothalamus of our brains that creates a different chemical recipe for each and every emotion that we have.  Our cells respond by creating receptors to receive the chemical that are continually incoming, for example something as vital to health as nutrition.  On the other end of the spectrum is anger, which does nothing to help the body nourish itself. 

In both cases, our bodies yield to our wants, needs and desires by sending chemical messengers and by creating the receptors to accommodate these incoming particles to do their work together.  When you have a certain emotional reaction often enough and strong enough, your body’s cells actually start to create more of these types of receptors in anticipation of receiving more of this specific chemical mix.  They become addicted to the substance waiting to receive it again.  These chemicals create a rush of good feeling chemicals in order to the body back into balance.  These chemical responses feel good, they are the body’s way of processing of the negative emotion chemicals.  If you are interested in learning more about how this works, check out the movie, “What the bleep do we know?”.  It paints a very vivid picture of this process.

The strongest example I can give you of this is your body’s flight or fight response.  It is a rush and we have all felt it.  It happens to me when I think a police officer is going to pull me over.  This is funny as I don’t speed and would have no reason to be pulled over.  But still, every time I pass a policeman on the road, radaring, my heart starts to beat faster.  My pulse starts to race.  This is a major chemical reaction of panic in response to seeing the policeman.  When they pass me to pull over another driver, my body is filled with another rush of chemicals that feel like total relief.  We have all had a similar experience with something that frightened or startled us to the core and our body flooded with chemical reaction immediately. 

This is your cells responding to the neuropeptides created by the chemical signature in response to the strong emotional reaction you had.  The challenge comes when there are more receptors on the cells for negative emotions than positive ones.  Receptor sites that could have been used for essential chemicals like oxygen, vitamin c and many other life affirming are being taken over by chemical that do nothing positive for the body.  There sole impact on the community is to send a message to the body is to send out all the “feel good” chemical reserves it has.  This is a short term solution that in the end robs you of health, vitality and ultimately happiness. 

When you fully get this, you find that you start paying close attention to what emotions you are having, how you feel physically after having them.  You start to run a mental chalkboard of the balance between the “bad” feelings and “good” feelings.  I found I wanted to have more check marks in the “good” feelings column.  They didn’t always give me the giant rush that the really bad feelings gave, but they sure brought a lot more comfort and ease into my experience.  I found that I was laughing more, judging less.  I was happy more and worried less.  I was playing more and working less.

It is only a matter of practice to transcend the drama and find lasting joy.  It takes being present with your thoughts, enough to realize in what direction they lean and how you feel in response to those thoughts.  Making a conscious effort to realize when you are in a moment of going deeper and deeper into drama or negative thought is an important step to changing your life and taking control.  You know when you are doing this because inside you are feeling worse and worse.  You feel the biochemical bombs going off all over your body in response to these feelings.  The more you dwell or steam the stronger the emotion gets.  This is your internal guidance system telling you, your emotional response, telling you “I thought you might want to know that the thought you are having right now is out of alignment with what you really want”.

If in the moments, more times than not, you are choosing to change the direction of your thoughts to more thoughts of what you want, instead of what you don’t want, you will feel a sense of relief.  You will have broken the hold that drama had on you.  Instead you will be choosing a life based on experiencing positive emotions, in effect letting your whole person, body, mind and spirit, know we want to move towards what we want.  I am going to “change the station” in my mind to WIDW (What I Do Want) and choose moving toward joy instead.

        

Welcome.  It is my sincerest wish that you find this space to be an an ever expanding source of information that resonates with you.  That it will inspire you to the realization that you are in control of your life and you can make it anything you want it to be.  Take what feels good to you now and leave the rest.  If there is even a thought of two that broadens your awareness and brings you joy, my work is being done.

Please feel free to post questions or comments.  Let's all enjoy our journey here together in this magnificent game called "Life".

Love & Light,

Kristine Soliday